New Year, New Target, New Resolution

Another new year has come and everything starts all over again; college, lifestyle, routine etc etc. I managed to meet up with some old friends before they leave for further studies. One of my besties, Nicole has left for KDU yesterday and she's doing fine. Hope she will. =) It'll be her first day at college tomorrow. Good luck, mate!

As time goes by, fear in me gets worst. Everything just scares me off. Whatever I think of, the consequences that I will think have to be a negative one. I can't help it. I'm being such a coward since don't know when. How pessimistic. One thing for sure I know. I'm lack of confidence. I'm afraid to face the situation because I'm a coward. I'm afraid to go through it because I don't have confidence inside me. My future is in my hand. I handle it fully. Which is why it scares me off because I don't know what will my future be. No one knows. How will my road of journey in front be? Is it as perfect as a newly-made highway? Or will it be a crooked, creepy and steeply road with holes and trees all over, making me difficult to continue my journey? Honestly, I don't know.

When I'm into something, something in my heart just stop me. I will lose focus on it. This is not right. This shouldn't be the way. In just a blink, it's already 7th January 2010. A week has gone. Fear has increased double, heartbeat pounds faster as ever. What am I supposed to do to stop all this fear and worries? Possibly, anyone that I can turn to? All these fears are unspeakable. I don't know what they are. They are just disturbing my mind and soul and not telling me who they are. This is a total insane. What is my destiny trying to tell me? I don't know...

Road of life is never easy to walk. That's why it's called "Life". It's a journey, with obstacles everywhere. So suspicious that you can't see them until you reach closer to them. Until a period of time, your destiny is in front, waiting for you to come and meet them. Good? Or bad? No idea.

Things been running in my mind for quite some time. Now, I know what I should be doing, what I should be thinking, what I should go after first and after that, what is the important thing in life and after that. To overcome my fear, I should face it. To make my heart beats normally, I should relax my mind and not think it the hard way. To do things I want to do, I should build up my confidence and plan for it.

New year, new target, new resolution. Will see if this is a good year for me. (It doesn't turn out good for me in 2009 - well, all the years are never really good years for me though)

If You are listening and watching over, You know what I've always wanted...

Happy New Year

Quote of the day...For You

To: Someone I know...

Be strong

Till the end

No one can ever let you down..

except yourself.

You deserve better than that..

Life has to go on even how down are you.

Just to let you know that..

I'll always be there for you -

no matter what.

Someone has to stop somewhere.

To my dearest friend.....

On the 8th of November 1990

a baby girl was born

and she was named....

Nicolette J. Nierras

=)

A friend that I've known for almost 9 years and it's her big day today. Called her at 12:32am when I was having supper with my mates after our event. She haven't slept yet and maybe she was waiting for my call. :P We talked for quite awhile and it reminded me of our school time. How I wish that time would turn back to the olden days.

She was one of my best-est amie and even until now, we still keep in touch with each other. Whenever I go back, I would call her out for lunch or dinner or have a drink at our usual place.

Instead of counting candles,

Or tallying the years,

Contemplate your blessings now,

As your birthday nears.

Consider special people

Who love you, and who care,

And others who’ve enriched your life

Just by being there.

Think about the memories

Passing years can never mar,

Experiences great and small

That have made you who you are.

Another year is a happy gift,

So cut your cake, and say,

"Instead of counting birthdays,

I count blessings every day!"

-by Joanna Fuchs-

Speaking of it, our event was considered to be a successful one. Although there's some technical problems, but still we managed to pull it through. I'm glad that it's all over now. Only for the time being.

I Thought....

I thought...that you wanted to see me so badly
I thought...that you were happy spending time with me
I thought...that you enjoyed doing things with me
I thought...that you enjoyed walking with me

I thought...that you missed me
I thought...that we were both happy to be there for each other
I thought...that we had fun together
I thought...that we were meant to be

I thought...that we had fallen for each other under the same sky
I thought...that we had become one of them
I thought...that I had the feel again
I thought...that things would go the way it should be

But now I know...that whatever I've thought...it's just a thought...
It's not real..or perhaps, it's never real...

It came back....

It came back..again.

I miss it very much.

I don't ask for much.

Just some time before it ends.

Forever.

So this is it. I'm done with it.
Everything about you, I wouldn't want to care.
Although deep down in me, I still wanted to.
But I supposed you don't need it from me anymore.
You made me realised that it's not worth it.
Thanks to you, I have a new goal.
Thanks to you, I know what exactly I want in life.
Thanks to you, I know how to say 'no' when it's necessary.

Maybe you never realised
that I've done more things
for you than you and I expected
without complaining.
Maybe you never realised how hard
it is for me to overcome all this.
Thanks to someone, I'm awake.
For once and for all, that's the first and the last time
I would drop my tears over you.
You don't worth my tears.
And I had no idea why it happened.

I have to fix it... =)